


Like No Ones Watching

by SereneCalamity



Series: Someone Worth Fighting For [3]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, Established Relationship, F/M, First Dates, Hand Jobs, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Oral Sex, Some more into Bucky's background, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Steve meets Anita..., Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-03-17 03:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18956704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneCalamity/pseuds/SereneCalamity
Summary: Unfortunately, it's turned out their first date is going to have to be to a big Stark event.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is going to be a two-parter. Lol. I meant to get this up earlier, sorry! I'm working on the second part now. I'm thinking...Slow dancing...Lots of cheesy, sweet slow dancing...As usual, not edited yet, sorry, guys.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, the title comes from a Molly Sanden song...

"And have you thought any more about reaching out to your sister?" Sharon Carter asked. James 'Bucky' Barnes head snapped up, hair falling around his face and his eyebrows raised as he looked over at the blonde. They were nearly at the end of today's session and he hadn't been prepared for any harder questions, he thought that he was in the clear.

"No, I'm not ready for that," he replied firmly, because he wasn't. And he also didn't want to talk about it. He already had, multiple times, over the past two years since he had been with SHIELD, but now he had a lot more choices when it came to what he talked about. He only had sessions once a fortnight, as opposed to daily, like it had been at first, and he was pushed as much as he had been in the beginning.

"You know she's been reaching out to you," Sharon stated, tapping a long, manicured fingernail against the iPad that was balanced on her knee, undoubtedly with  _whatever_  evidence she had about Bucky's sister trying to get in contact with him.

"I know," he replied. And he  _did_. He wasn't sure how she manage to get a hold of his new email address, throw shield. But she had. He had a feeling that it had something to do with Natasha Romanova or maybe even Tony Stark but he wasn't sure and he didn't want to ask, mainly because he didn't want to talk about it. She hadn't sent many messages but there had enough, enough for him to know that she wanted him back in her life.

And it hurt, because Bucky  _adored_  Rebecca Barnes.

He always had.

They had been like two peas in a pod.

But he wasn't that same  _person_  anymore. He wasn't the same  _Bucky_  that he had been when he was a kid, when he had last seen Becca, and he didn't know if he could handle the look in her eyes when she realized that. And she had to know what he had done, that he had killed hundreds— _hundreds_ —of people, and he wasn't the same guy who had tried to figure out how to braid her hair after their mum had died or who had painted her nails to make her feel better after the boy she liked ending up liking her best friend.

 _He had missed their fathers funeral_.

"And I hear you're dating Steve?" Sharon's next question drew Bucky out of his thoughts and he couldn't help the way his eyebrows pulled together. The way Sharon said Steve Rogers' name made it sound as though they were on pretty good terms. Steve seem to be on good terms with  _everyone_ , unlike Bucky, who was picky about who he got on with.

"I guess," Bucky replied non-committedly, because that was  _another_  thing that he didn't want to talk about. He let out a huff and looked at the time on the wall and was relieved to see that it was two o'clock. He stood up pointedly and nodded at Sharon. "See you next time, Carter," he said, his tone clipped. He didn't slam the door behind him, because he was an adult, but he kind of wanted to, because Sharon had a way of rubbing him the wrong way. It wasn't that he didn't like her, because he  _did_ , he would even go as so far as maybe considering her a  _friendly_  colleague, but...He hated that her whole literally job description was to bury herself in his head.

He'd had enough of that in his life, even if this was to help him.

Bucky headed straight down to one of the garages where his bike was parked. He needed to get back to his apartment, get dressed to be good enough to be seen on Steve's arm and ready by seven thirty, when he was picking him for a charity event at Stark Tower.

With Steve.

As his date.

It wasn't going to be a big thing, they didn't want to make some big deal about announcing it to the entire world, because it was none of their business, but...They were arriving together, and it was a Stark event, which meant that there were going to be a lot of photographers and reporters there, so pictures would be taken.

It would be a  _thing_ , even though they didn't want it to be.

But it had been nearly six months now, and this was the first big event that Tony had actually pushed Bucky to go to—made it seem as though he had no other choice but to go, like a lot of the other people—and Steve was going, so he had said that they could go together. He had then rushed on to say that Bucky wasn't obligated to go with him, they could just meet up when they were there, because Steve  _never_  wanted to make him feel uncomfortable, and unlike pretty much everyone else in Bucky's life, he didn't want to push him outside his comfort zone.

Which is why Bucky had said yes.

Tony had somehow found out, which meant Natasha and Clint Barton and Wanda Maximoff and Pepper Potts and who knew who else knew. Tony had tried to take him out to get a tuxedo but Bucky had staunchly refused, saying that he would mess with his facial grooming products in a way that he wouldn't realize until it was too late. Tony stopped short at that, and Natasha had grinned and taken over from there. All she had done was taken some measurements and then sent them away and told him a suit would be delivered to his apartment this afternoon when he got home.

Bucky was trying hard not to worry about tonight.

The fact that he was going to have Steve at his side both helped and hindered that.

It helped because while this was going to be one of the most public events he had gone to since being rescued from HYDRA and being rehabilitated by SHIELD and Steve at his side would make him feel stronger.

It hindered because this was also the first time their relationship was coming out in public, and Steve had this...This reputation that Bucky had only become aware of recently, and he really wasn't sure he wasn't going to measure up.

Not to Steve, because Steve had never,  _ever_  made him feel as though he was anything less than adored, but to everyone else.

Because he had done some reading up on Steve. He hadn't talked to Steve about it, just like Steve hadn't talked to  _him_  about it, but he had known Steve when he had been with HYDRA. He hadn't known him as Steve though, he'd known him as  _Captain America_. Just like Tony was known as _Iron Man_  and Natasha as  _Black Widow_ , Steve was dubbed  _Captain America_ , and Bucky could understand that. He was actually surprised that he hadn't stumbled on it earlier, but then again, he had been completely wrapped up in his own head, focusing on his own problems, trying to claw himself out of his own hole, but it didn't change the way he saw Steve. Honestly, he had already known that the man was a superhero. From bits and pieces that he heard, Steve had joined some program with the army, had then quickly worked his way up the ranks and then had ended up at SHIELD after a very short amount of time. Bucky had made the mistake of Googling Steve's name, and  _thousands_  of results had come up. He had decided not to look, feeling really strange, almost as though he was invading Steve's privacy, even though Google was completely public. He had thought about asking JARVIS for help, but had once again decided against it, maybe give him a summary of the SHIELD files on his lover. He didn't want to ask Natasha or Tony or Clint, he wanted to hear anything he had to from Steve, and he was happy waiting.

But then he had seen a title splashed over a magazine on Peppers desk a few days ago, ' _Will Captain America Have A Plus One To Starks Charity Event_?'. It was dumb and none of their business, but it made Bucky feel cold and out of place, because the photo that was on the cover was Steve in a suit, hair slicked back, no facial hair, a big smile, an All American man.

Something about Steve's smile made Bucky's heart feel bad, though, because even though he was smiling with his mouth, his blue eyes weren't, not like they did when he was with Bucky or Wanda.

And seeing Steve without the facial hair had also been strangely familiar...Bucky couldn't put a finger on it, but there was  _something_  there. Maybe they had run into each other out in the field, when they had been on opposite sides. Steve had been pretty active with SHIELD up until about two years ago, from what Bucky had heard, so it was likely.

He would ask Steve about it some time, but not now.

Bucky got back to his apartment and parked his bike in the garage underneath and headed upstairs. He showered and trimmed his beard until it was just tidy stubble against his lower face, and then he saw movement on the little screens he had in each room from the security cameras that he had around the place. He wasn't quite as security conscious as he was before—he had literally tied trip wire across the front of his doorway when he had first moved into the apartment building—but he still needed to have some eyes and ears when he was going about his business.

It was a delivery boy, with a big black garment bag.

Bucky signed for the bag and took it into his room, laying it out on the bed and opening it up to look at whatever it was that Natasha had organised for him. His eyes lifted as he caught sight of the jacket first, which instantly wasn't something that he was expecting, but surprisingly wasn't something he minded.

It looked like crushed velvet, dark blue with smudges of black. He took it out, and there was a simple white shirt with black buttons on the hanger underneath it, and a bowtie slung around the top of the hanger, also black. The pants were a simple black as well, so clearly the jacket was the feature, and Bucky actually quite liked it. Natasha had gotten him shoes yesterday as well, and he could take care of the socks side of things just fine, and he was glad that he had some gel to put through his hair. He'd had it cut not too long ago, so it was just above his shoulders now, and he could slick it back just a little, give it some volume.

Time seemed to go really fast, between the time that Bucky had gotten home, to the time that Steve showed up at his front door.

Anita had been winding herself around Bucky's ankles, demanding attention, and had left some white hair behind, and Bucky was trying to get rid of it with a damp cloth when there was a soft knock on the door. Anita had jumped up onto the couch, back legs tucked up underneath her, both paws stretched elegantly out in front and she was licking them thoroughly, one at a time, not seemingly aware of the trouble that she had caused Bucky. Bucky glanced up at one of his screens and saw Steve's face and he winced, because his hair had probably gotten all mussed up from him leaning over and trying to get all the hair off his pants.

"Coming!" Bucky called, managing to get the last of the hair off and then jogging to the door, cloth still in his hand. He opened the door to Steve, who grinned at him as though everything was completely and utterly normal.

Except it  _wasn't_.

Because Steve looked like  _that_.

His hair was combed back and the beard was  _gone_ , for the first time since Bucky had met Steve in the bar. He was wearing a dove grey suit that had ever-so-light pinstripes and there was a dark blue shirt underneath, and a not-too-skinny grey tie.

He looked mouth-watering.

"Bucky?" Steve asked, and his cheeks actually looked a little flushed. And Bucky could properly make all of that out, because there was no soft beard to hide any of his face. "Sorry—is it the fact the beard is gone? Maybe I should have asked you before I did that..." Bucky blinked as he realized that Steve thought that he didn't  _like_  the fact his beard was gone.

"Wh—no!" Bucky blurted out. "No, that's not it!" He sucked his lower lip into his mouth as he dropped his eyes again, a little more purposefully again, and when his gaze met Steve's again, Steve's face was red, because he realized that Bucky's reaction was to Steve's whole outfit.

Bucky got to see that beautiful flush, and the way that Steve started sucking down on the corner of his bottom lip as he met Bucky's eyes.

"I'm not saying I prefer this to the beard," Bucky said quietly. "Because you know how much I like your beard." Even Steve's ears were glowing red, which was gorgeous. "But I  _really_  like this too...Maybe it's also the suit." It was  _definitely_  also the suit, and they both knew it. And the words—they just came out, because when it came to Steve, things were always just easier.

Steve moved forward, and he only touched a soft kiss to Bucky's mouth, their bodies only coming together at their mouths, and Steve felt as though he shivered, like it was taking a lot to hold himself back from doing more than give Bucky a chaste kiss.

"What time does it start?" Bucky murmured as Steve pulled back, the blondes eyes looking almost crossed as they stared down at Bucky's mouth between their faces. Tony had probably told him a hundred times, but Bucky hadn't been listening—Clint had remarked that Bucky seemed to have a talent for tuning Tony out.

"It'll already be going," Steve replied, his voice just as soft. "They kick off around seven, but Tony and Pepper don't usually get there until sometime around nine, so I aim for just before then," he made a face, and it seemed like the moment was broken because he was pulling back and leaning against the door frame. "And then generally I try to get out of there about an hour later." Bucky couldn't help but grin, because he could literally imagine Steve attempting to sneak out of Stark Tower.

He wondered if Tony had JARVIS rigged to send him an alert.

"So...Then it won't matter if we're a little later?" The corners of Bucky's lips quirked up, his metal hand whirring as it came up to wrap around Steve's tie, not caring that he was wrinkling it. Steve glanced down at Bucky's hand, and when he looked back up, he was smiling.

"Guess you're right," he said, voice sounding a little husky.

"Good," Bucky grinned, giving Steve's tie a tug, drawing him into the apartment. "Because I really want to get my mouth on you right now." There was a full body shiver through Steve this time and Bucky felt that right in his dick. He was about to start leading Steve through the lounge and toward his bedroom when he realized that Steve's eyes had moved over to the couch. Bucky looked over his shoulder, following Steve's gaze, and he saw Anita on the couch. His cat had stopped cleaning herself, maybe when Steve had first shown up, and has half leaning off the couch now.

With Bucky and Steve's attention on her, she seemed to  _attempt_  to preen by stretching herself out, but her front paws were half off the couch, and she ended up over-balancing her couch and ended up falling inelegantly to the floor.

Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve snorted.

"Of course she becomes an ungraceful oaf in your presence," Bucky muttered, because he had told Steve that she was posh and lovely. He looked back up at Steve, ready to roll his eyes and just completely ignore his cat—who was padding into the kitchen to have something to eat—but then he noticed the look on Steve's face and it made him pause. Steve had this way of looking at Bucky as though he was the most important person in the universe, as though he was the  _only_  person in the universe. Sometimes, when Bucky couldn't handle it, he would put it down to the fact that Steve was a ridiculously sincere person and would look at everyone that way.

But he knew it wasn't true.

The way that Steve was looking at Bucky right now was with  _love_ , that was intended for only one person, and that was  _Bucky_.

"You have no idea...How proud I am of you," Steve managed to say, his voice sounding a little broken and Bucky's eyebrows lifted, unsure how to reply. "I just—" one of Steve's hands came up to scratch at the back of his neck, something Bucky had learned he did when he was nervous. "You seem a lot more comfortable here. You seem more comfortable _in general_." Bucky blinked at him for a moment, and then leaned in and kissed the blonde.

He had done more healing in the past six months with Steve, than he had in the two years previous with SHIELD and all of it's fancy therapists and doctors. He knew that they had all helped, of course, in their own way, but it had been Steve that had hoped the most.

"I'm sorry that this is our first date," Steve mumbled, still trying to talk, even though Bucky was kissing him with  _intent_ , and was pulling him backwards after Bucky, into the bedroom. "I really didn't want this to be our first date." Bucky couldn't help but let out a little laugh, because Steve actually sounded distressed right now, and that didn't suit this situation at all.

"Steve," Bucky said bluntly and Steve fell quiet. "I can be away for weeks at a time. It isn't your fault that we haven't been able to find time to go out dancing or for some fancy steak dinner." He was getting better with his words when it came to Steve, more like he had been when he was younger, before he had been sent off to war, before HYDRA. Not really with anyone else, but with Steve he was. "And if I have to do this thing tonight, then I'm glad I get to do it with you." Steve nodded a few times, and then his hand came up and stroked down the front of Bucky's chest, over the velvet of his jacket.

"You look beautiful, by the way," Steve commented quietly, eyes climbing over Bucky's face, taking in everything he saw.

"You look better," Bucky retorted, hands sliding down the front of Steve's jacket and finding the belt at his hips.

"Fuck off I do," Steve argued, and it looked as though maybe he was going to say something else, but then Bucky's hand was sliding inside the perfectly pressed grey pants, and rubbing up against Steve's cock through the thin material of the briefs he was wearing, and Steve cut himself off.

"I really want to get my mouth on you," Bucky repeated his earlier sentiment, dropping down to his knees, not caring what it would do to his suit, and tugged Steve's pants open and his briefs further down so that he could pull Steve's cock out through the gap. Even though neither of them were particularly looking forward to the event tonight, and Bucky had acted as though he didn't mind showing up too late, neither of them wanted to face down Pepper or Natasha, so Bucky didn't waste time in swallowing Steve down.

" _Fuck_ ," Steve groaned out, his hands going to Bucky's hair, messing it up. Bucky always liked it when Steve swore, especially the more he got to know him and saw what a boy scout he was. "Bucky..." Steve's thick fingers tugged at Bucky's hair, but Bucky didn't let up. He wondered if they would come back to his place tonight, or if they would go back to Steve's. Either way, they could definitely do more of this, so it didn't matter if this was quick, it was just to get the edge of.

Bucky worked his lips and his tongue around Steve's cock, taking him in an inch more and more each time he slid down. It had taken him a few tries before he had managed to get all of Steve inside of his mouth, feel the spongy head press down the back of his throat, but he'd done this a good six or seven times now, so he was getting better at it. He gripped Steve's hips, encouraging him to move forward, and Steve's fingers tightened in his hair again, little pinpricks of pleasure-pain scattering over his skull. It was always  _just_  the right amount, when it came to Steve, and Bucky relaxed his throat, sliding forward and burying his nose in Steve's trimmed pubic hairs.

"Shit—Buck, I'm—Buck—" Steve was grunting and Bucky grinned as best as he could. It had barely taken him five minutes to get Steve to that point. Steve came down Bucky's throat, and one of Bucky's hands moved from Steve's hand to press against his own erection, which was straining against his briefs and the fitted pants that he was wearing. "Fuck," he hissed through his teeth, fingers loosening in Bucky's hair and stretching out, cupping the back of Bucky's head. After a few moments, Bucky got up, moving backwards to sit on the edge of his bed, and Steve moved to sit next to him, hands making quick work of Bucky's own pants.

It took just as short a time for Bucky to be coming over Steve's fist and just a little on his lower stomach, luckily just underneath where his shirt was rucked up, their mouths attached and one of Bucky's hands in Steve's hair.

And his cock throbbed again when Steve lifted his hand to his mouth and licked at the come.

"You're a fucking menace," Bucky mumbled and Steve grinned. Bucky liked that even with the suit and the shaved face, Steve's hair was a little messed up, looking more like  _his_  Steve that the man the rest of the world go to see. And just like that, his mood shifted, realized that they were actually going to have to leave his apartment, not get to stay in somewhere safe and warm with Steve like they usually used to be able to do. Steve saw the change in his face straight away and he lifted the hand—that  _wasn't_  a little sticky—and touched his finger to Bucky's cheek.

"It'll be alright," he assured him. "We'll just pretend it's the two of us—like there's no one watching, just at a fancier place with more expensive food than either of us would ever pick. And we can...Accept Natasha and Clint into our circle of trust if they bring food."

"Clint always has food," Bucky mused and Steve grinned. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Bucky's temple before getting to his feet and then stepping out of the room and glancing around to fine the bathroom.

"I'll just get us something to clean up with," Steve called over his shoulder and Bucky just smiled at the doorway. Bucky heard the taps running from the basin, and a few moments later, Steve came back with a cloth in his hand and he was wiping his wet hands. "Do you have security screens in all your rooms?" He asked, not judgement in his tone, just a simple question.

"Yup," Bucky nodded as he used the cloth next and then tucked himself back into his briefs. " _One_  of us has to be security conscious."  _That_  was a jab at Steve and his unlocked doors, although Bucky had been happy to discover than the doors were now looked a good seventy percent of the time when the bar wasn't open, so it was progress.

Steve stuck his tongue out at Bucky in response.

Because they were  _adults_.

Bucky is pretty sure he's looking back at Steve with the same expression that Steve looked at him with; love.

So he just stuck his tongue out, and then they set about straightening themselves out, not particularly looking forward to their evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while! But it's a bit longer? If that makes up for it?

Steve had driven to Bucky's in a car, rather than on his motorbike that Bucky knew Steve had. Bucky had never actually seen Steve on the bike because they didn't usually leave the bar, or if they did, it was only within walking distance, but he had actually thought that Steve would be showing up with that bike, rather than a car. He had to admit, he had also kind of been looking forward to being plastered behind Steve, even though it wouldn't be the best for his suit or his hair, but it made a lot more sense to be in a car.

"I don't drive it often," Steve commented as they pulled into the traffic. "I prefer my bike." They had that in common, and Bucky reached over and rested his hand on Steve's knee. Steve shot him a smile, covering his hand with his own before looking forward at the traffic. There was something playing on the radio that Bucky didn't recognize, but that wasn't surprising, because he didn't recognize a lot of music. Clint had been trying to introduce him to his favourite bands, and honestly, Clint didn't mind a lot of them, but when he actually had time to listen to music, he preferred the quiet. He needed to be able to hear everything around him, which was one of the reasons that he also didn't really watch TV.

As they got closer to the Stark Tower, the traffic got heavier, and Bucky could feel the nerves in his stomach beginning to flurry faster and faster. All those happy feelings from before; seeing Steve looking so good in his suit, and then getting off with Steve in his own bed, which had done all sorts of things to him—all of those feelings disappeared and it felt as though there was this heavy stone in his stomach. If it was literally anyone else driving the car other than Steve, he would have been shoving open the door and bolting down the road, trying to get  _anywhere_  but here.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

No.

 _He knew_  this was a bad idea.

Everyone loved Steve because he was safe and wonderful, and everyone hated Bucky because they were scared of him, and the only reason that they had been working so far was because their relationship was kept on the down low. Bucky had Googled his own name a couple of times, and it had always been terrible, but then one time he had Googled Steve's name, it had been filled with adoring results, not a bad word in sight going from the titles that Bucky had skimmed over.

They were complete opposites.

"Bucky?" Steve was frowning at him, looking concerned, and Bucky realized that they had actually stopped. Bucky looked out the window and saw that they were parked behind a few cars, and there were people walking on either side of them, on the road and on the footpath. The car in front of them moved up, but Steve didn't move, even though there were undoubtedly cars behind them. "We can leave. We can go. We don't  _have_  to stay." Bucky really wanted to take that out, he wanted to accept Steve's offer to go, either back to his place or to Steve's, and get away from all of the eyes and judgments and questions that were undoubtedly going to come.

But it was going to have to happen at some stage, and he might as well do it now, with Steve at his side, in a situation that he was somewhat prepared for.

"It's fine," Bucky replied, and it was clear that Steve wasn't completely okay with that response, but he push for more, because Steve never  _did_  that, he trusted Bucky in his responses and trusted that Bucky knew that he could handle.

"Okay," Steve dipped his head in a nod and then the car was moving forward again, until they were near the front of the queue of cars, where the noise was the loudest and people were the most densely gathered. There were a few people in black suits that looked more like uniforms waiting standing next to each other, and one of them came over to the car, standing politely just beside the drivers side, ready to open the door. "You ready for this?"

"Let's do this," Bucky muttered, and Steve gave him a lopsided smile, that was comforting and sweet, and then he was opening his door, leaving the keys in the ignition and engine running. There was someone just outside Bucky's door as well, but Bucky opened his own door, just like Steve had and got out...

...Then immediately wanted to get back inside.

There were people  _everywhere_  and there were lights flashing above expensive cameras and people were shouting and  _how the fuck was this something Tony was happy with putting up with_?

Steve quickly circled around to Bucky's side of the car, shoulders back, chin up, eyes soft when he looked at Bucky but mouth in a professional line that wasn't exactly firm but definitely wasn't a smile. He arched an eyebrow at Bucky, as though making sure that he was ready, and when Bucky gave him a shaky nod, they began the long walk from the car and up to the building. There were reporters and photographers, shouting and asking for them to stop and take photos, asking them questions, but Steve rested a hand gently at the base of Bucky's back and kept them moving forward. Once they reached the front doors, they were opened by two ushers and then the whole atmosphere changed and Bucky let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

"Alright?" Steve nodded at Bucky and let his arm fall back to his side, and Bucky knew that Steve was giving him space to get his bearings again, but he immediately missed the feeling of Steve's warmth against his back.

"Is it always like that?" Bucky asked, making a face as he looked over his shoulder, at more people walking up through the pathway held in place by red velvet rope. Steve made a bit of a face, screwing up his nose and curling his upper lip before curling.

"Yeah, pretty much," Steve replied. "Tony loves all of that stuff, although not as much as he did before, from what I hear."

"Before he was Iron Man?" Bucky asked and Steve nodded. Bucky nodded as he took that on, even though it wasn't at all surprising. He had always been good at reading people, even before HYDRA, and Tony liking the lime light and enjoying being fawned over by reporters and paparazzi completely fit the M.O. Bucky didn't often go on missions with Tony because the ones that  _Iron Man_  went on were the ones that got splashed all over the papers and required interviews and no one wanted to see the Winter Soldier as part of the good people team. That was why he worked with Natasha and Clint, he was a spy, he did better in the shadows.

Steve belonged up there with Tony, though. Even if he didn't like it, it suited him, he knew how to hold himself and how to move through it smoothly, unlike Bucky, who now just wanted to go and find somewhere small and dark to hide.

"Bucky?" Steve's voice was soft, and he wasn't touching Bucky, but he looked like he wanted to be. He wasn't looking at Bucky's face though, he was looking down at Bucky's flesh hand, and Bucky realized that it was shaking at his side. A few more people came in through the door from outside, and Steve took a few steps to the side so that they were out of the way and also so that Bucky had his back up against a wall, which was nice and grounding and he drew in a deep breath.

Steve still didn't reach out and touch Bucky, and Bucky  _knew_  it was because Steve was following his lead, not crowding him even though Bucky could really use that right now.

So he initiated it, reaching out and gripping Steve's hand firmly and Steve smiled at him, big and bright with his blue eyes sparkling and Bucky instantly felt his body relax a fraction.

"I just need a minute," he said and Steve nodded, giving his hand a squeeze and not looking at all bothered about standing in the auditorium as people began moving toward the elevators. Bucky took in a few deep breaths, watching past Steve's body as more people came in. Maria Hill came in with Nick Fury, looking beautiful and deadly, and she noticed the pair of them almost instantly, even though they were kind of hidden in the shadows, and Bucky was sheltered by Steve's hulking form, and she gave him a sharp nod before moving to the elevators. Bucky let out another breath through his nose and let go of Steve's hand, rolling his shoulders back and straightening to his full height.

"Ready?" Steve asked with a half smile.

"Ready," Bucky nodded, and he tried not to sound as grim as he felt. They walked toward the elevators and there was another group of people who had come through, and they were giving Steve appreciative looks, all looking as though they knew very aware of who he was. Bucky gritted his teeth together at a blonde woman who was looking Steve up and down, and his lover just gave her a polite smile as they waited for the next elevator to open. The doors opened and they stepped inside, and just as it was about to close, there was a shout and Steve's hand shot out to stop the doors from closing.

"Oh, thanks, Mr Rogers!" Peter Parker said with a grin as he stepped in, and Bucky's eyebrows raised when he saw the round-framed glasses that Peter was wearing. He didn't know much about the kids powers, but he assumed that he had perfect vision, maybe even  _beyond_  perfect vision, so he wasn't sure what the glasses were about. "Mr Barnes!" Peter grinned up at him as the elevator door shut and they were then all stuck in the little metal box whizzing upward, with four random people who were watching Bucky, Steve and Peter with great interest. "You never come to these things!"

"First time for everything," Bucky said through gritted teeth, trying not to glare at the blonde woman who was standing  _so close_  to Steve. Logically, he knew that it wasn't as though there was a whole lot of room in the elevator, but with the way she was looking at Steve's arms in his suit, it made it seem as though she wanted to climb him.

"That's cool," Peter was chattering away, completely unaware of Bucky's inner war going on to stop himself from attacking an innocent woman right there and then. The elevator suddenly arrived at the right floor, and then they were walking out and Bucky was relieved, but Peter didn't stop talking. "These things are usually pretty cool, there's all sorts of awesome people here. Tony is friends with lots of different people—there was this chick named Jessica and she drank even more than Tony and she's, like, a PI and..." Peter kept chattering as Bucky stopped at the barrier of the slightly raised platform that the elevator opened out onto to take in the room.

He was pretty sure he had been on this floor of the Stark Tower before, at some point, but it hadn't quite looked like this. There was mood lighting, so none of the overhead lights were on, just some side ones that were glowing a dim yellow and then some lamps spotted through the place, although near the middle it looked as though there was a slightly more lighted up dance floor. There was a live band playing and there were people everywhere.

He spotted Natasha and Clint almost straight away, holed up at the end of the bar that curved toward a little dark alcove, and Natasha looked drop dead gorgeous, and even Clint cleaned up nicely.

"I'm gonna go over there," he announced, cutting off whatever Peter had been saying. But Peter didn't look as though he minded, and Steve just nodded.

"Did you want me to come, or...?" Steve drifted off and Bucky shook his head.

"Nah, you...You go do your thing, or whatever," Bucky managed to give him a small smile as he waved a hand at the crowd of people that didn't quite reach his eyes, shot a glare over to the lingering blonde woman who hadn't moved along as quickly as her friends, and then started moving directly to the bar. He kept his eyes down, his arms tight against his side and his stride deliberate. He wished that he let himself be vulnerable enough to admit to Steve that he had actually wanted him to come with Bucky, and stick by his side all evening, but he refused to do that, and his breathing actually started to quicken a little in his chest as he was enveloped by the heat of the crowd. His flesh was on the verge of starting to sweat before he managed to reach the bar and Clint held up his hand to flag down one of the bartenders to get him a drink.

"Looking good, Barnes," Natasha said with an appraising look as she gave him a swift once over.

"And your date looks even better," Clint added with a cheeky wink. Bucky rolled his eyes, grateful when two vodka shots were placed down in front of him. He threw them both back, knowing that the slight confidence that came with the burn of alcohol in his veins was only going to last a few minutes before the serum burnt it out of his system, but he would take it. He didn't want to get drunk tonight, he needed to keep his wits about him. "That man really knows how to make everyone in the room feel like they're actually interesting," Clint continued to muse as he swung around in his bar stool and looked out at the crowd, one elbow resting on the bar top. "No wonder people prefer to talk to him than to Stark."

"That's why  _he's_  the Cap," Natasha stated and Bucky realized how many times it was actually implied that Steve had more to do with SHIELD than he had known before. Even just the way Natasha had so off-handedly called him ' _the_  Cap' not ' _a_  Cap'.

"But let's face it," Clint smirked. "If you were going to sit down and get drunk, it's Stark you'd want to get drunk with." As if on cue, there was uproarious laughter and the three at the bar looked over to where Tony was standing with four other men, all of them holding drinks tightly and heads tossed back.

"I'd prefer to get drunk with Steve," Bucky grumbled under his breath as two more shots of vodka were slid across the bar top toward him.

"That's because if  _you_  got drunk with Steve, it would lead to orgasms," Clint grinned and Bucky rolled his eyes while Natasha laughed.

"Under that logic, wouldn't you only get drunk with Natasha?" Bucky muttered and Clint grinned even wider while Natasha rolled her eyes, although there was a smile still pulling at her dark red painted lips. Then someone was calling out and Clint was moving away and it was just Bucky and Natasha left behind. But that was okay, because the silence between them was companionable, like it always was. Drinks kept getting pushed across the counter, and Bucky turned his bar stool around so that he could people watch, eyes flicking over the crowd to take everything in.

Pepper Potts was there, of course, never too far from Tony, keeping a watchful eye on him, wearing a golden dress that tumbled down like a waterfall over her body. Maria seemed to spend a lot of time talking to her, and so did Phil Coulson, although she also moved to mingle with other people who were dressed in clothes that obviously cost more than Bucky's entire apartment cost, and he really wasn't interested in any of them. They were undoubtedly people who were invited there to donate to the charity, who the whole event was being thrown for, and they were all probably the kind of people who loved to be photographed going into these events, so that the whole world knew that they would be donating, not doing it purely out of the kindness of their own hearts. James Rhodes was there as well, talking with a couple of vets, one of whom Bucky recognized from the VA.

Peter was bouncing around, and people seemed completely charmed by his presence. Bucky had to grudgingly admit that he understood that. Even if the kid was a bit too peppy for his liking—and just  _young_  all around—Peter was growing on him. Wanda Maximoff was there, people watching, similar to how Natasha and Bucky were, although she spoke to Steve when he passed by, on his way to another group of people, and then Clint joined her against the wall. Brock Rumlow was looking down his nose at the crowd, with a couple of his other STRIKE team members at his shoulders, and Bucky moved his eyes quickly on from them, because they always made him feel uncomfortable.

There was Steve, of course, who was mingling with people, and it wasn't obvious that he wasn't enjoying what he was doing, but Bucky could clearly see it. The change in the way his shoulders were held and the corners of his smile tightened from when he was talking to Wanda and then Tony and Pepper was different from when a group of older people came up to him, clapping him on the shoulder and talking too loudly, drawing attention of people around them. Bucky couldn't imagine being in Steve's position, having people just  _come up_  to him and touch him, as though they had the right to, but Steve just let them do it, answering their questions and focusing his full attention on them, just like he did when he spoke with anyone.

Sam Wilson was there, talking to Sharon, which was interesting. It made sense that they would know each other, in a way. Sharon worked at SHIELD and knew Steve, Sam knew a lot of people who worked at SHIELD and was friends with Steve, but it was still a bit strange to see them together.

Especially since Sam was someone that, on occasion, Bucky had mentioned a few things to in confidence, on some of his trips to the VA. Steve was the one who had suggested that he go in, saying that it had helped him a lot. And then Sharon was his SHIELD appointed psychologist, who obviously knew a lot about Steve, and so Bucky couldn't help but feel his stomach shift uncomfortably. Logically, he knew that neither of them would be talking about them, they probably had a hundred more interesting things and there were all sorts of laws they would likely be breaking, along with just crossing moral and ethical lines.

It didn't stop Bucky's head working overtime, though.

And then Steve joined them, a beer in his hand and a wide smile on his face, genuine, unlike the one he had been flashing other people at the event.

He hadn't actually seen Steve and Sharon properly interact before, but they looked more than comfortable with each other. Bucky had never really seen Sharon smile with anyone, actually, but she did when Steve greeted her and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek and then wrap her up in a hug. Bucky couldn't stop his eyebrows from arching high at their interaction, and then suddenly a beautiful red headed woman was joining them, hair piled in curls on top of her head and wearing a royal blue dress that clung to her curves, and she carried herself in a similar fashion to Sharon. Steve's eyes widened when he saw her, and then he was leaning forward and kissing her cheek and hugging her as well.

"Can I get two more of these?" Bucky asked gruffly, spinning around and waving a hand down at the two shot glasses of vodka that were yet to be cleared away by the wait staff. The bartender down their end nodded, picking up the shot glasses and moving away, and Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bucky.

"You sure you can handle all of them?" She asked, even though she knew technically he could. There was more to the question than just that, but it wasn't as though he and Natasha talked about their feelings. Two more vodka shots were pushed across to them and Natasha took one as Bucky picked one up. She clinked it against his and they threw them back. Natasha could handle almost as much as Bucky, and she didn't even have super-soldier serum running through her veins. "I'm going to go get some fresh air," she said. "I think you should go over and keep your man company." Bucky watched her go and then looked back over to where Steve was standing with Sam, Sharon and the red head. They all looked comfortable together, laughing and talking, and he felt as though he would be intruding.

But then Steve looked over toward the bar, and his eyes met Bucky's, and his smile changed, to something smaller and more intimate, and even from across the wide room, he could see the way Steve's blue eyes softened when they looked at him.

Bucky took his phone out of his pocket and noted that he had been sitting at the bar for nearly two hours, people watching, and he decided that he should go and join his lover. He swallowed hard and wished not for anywhere  _near_  the first time that he could draw courage from alcohol, the way he used to, and slid off his bar stool. He took the few steps back up the platform that circled around the sunken in the floor of the large room, trying to avoid as many people as possible, hating the fact that his hair had been cut a few a while ago, wishing it was still long enough to fall around his face.

"Bucky," Steve's voice was soft and sweet when he reached them.

"Hey, Buck," Sam's voice was a bit louder, and when Bucky looked at him, his eyes were just a little shiny, and he wondered how many drinks the other man had had. It would be interesting if he got drunk—he'd never seen Sam drunk before. "You're looking damn good." Bucky couldn't help but let out a laugh, and he was actually pretty sure that Sam was drunk, just from that statement alone. Steve let out a laugh as well, and the red head was grinning as she took another sip of her wine. Even Sharon's lips were tipped up in a small smile in the corners of her mouth as she looked at Bucky.

"You trying to make moves on my man, Wilson?" Steve said jokingly, and Bucky blinked at how blatantly Steve was announcing their relationship to the world. Or, it wasn't the world, they had arrived here together and there were probably photos now circulating of Steve's hand on Bucky's lower back, but just  _hearing_  Steve say it was different.

There was a warmth in Bucky's stomach that starting spreading up toward his chest and he had to look down to hide the smile that spread across his face.

"You do clean up nice, James," Sharon said and Bucky nodded at her. Steve had this look almost of  _pride_  when he looked at Bucky, and it made that warmth spread even further, through his limbs, settling in his arms and legs. It actually felt a little like when he used to get drunk, when he was a teenager, before HYDRA.

"Sorry, we haven't had the pleasure of meeting," the red head said and she held out a hand to Bucky. "I'm Peggy Carter." Bucky's eyebrows twitched as he looked between Sharon and Peggy, wondering what the connection was, before he took her hand and shook it.

"Peggy is Sharon's cousin," Steve told Bucky and he nodded, because that made sense. The way that they held themselves, and the way that their eyes seemed to take everything in, and Bucky wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because he was only just used to Sharon, and now there were two of them. "SHIELD would fall apart without her." Bucky blinked as he looked back at Peggy, but she just smiled demurely back at him, neither confirming or denying what he had said, which really just confirmed it.

"How about a dance?" Sam said, as he put his drink down on one of the high tables nearby and held out his hand to Sharon. She actually looked surprised—caught off guard for the first time since Bucky had known her—but then she nodded, putting down her own drinking and taking Sam's hand, letting him lead her toward the dance floor.

"I think that's the cue to leave," Peggy smiled and let out a laugh as she looked over at Steve. "I don't think anyone wants the pair of us on the dance floor." Steve laughed as well and Bucky knew he was missing something. "It was nice meeting you, Bucky," she nodded at Bucky, tipping her wine glass at him before she was turning and walking off, easily navigating the crowds, completely unlike Bucky. Bucky looked back at Steve and he was just smiling easily.

"What happened the last time you guys danced together?" Bucky asked and Steve blinked before laughing again.

"Oh," he shook his head. "It was a long time ago. Uh...The one and  _only_  time Peggy and I danced together was after an undercover op in Paris and she had a bit too much drink. We were at this little bar that had candles on all the tables and on the walls and..." he shrugged and looked a sheepish. "We ended up setting fire to the place after a particularly fast paced song." Bucky's eyes widened and Steve laughed. "Don't worry, I promise that I haven't set fire to anything since while dancing!" Bucky's lips quirked in one corner.

"Is that your way of asking me to dance, Stevie?" He asked without thinking, liking the way Steve's cheeks pinked a little.

"Not quite," Steve gave him another one of his beautiful smiles and stepped a little closer, holding out his hand, palm upward. "Would you like to dance, Bucky?" Bucky blinked and then it was as though he just realized how many people there were around them. But Steve made it seem so simple, just holding out his hand to Bucky, not caring that it would mean they would step onto the dance floor that was in the centre of the room and there would all sorts of people looking at them. People who knew who Steve was, and adored him, and people who knew who Bucky was, and didn't trust him an inch.

But maybe it was that simple.

Maybe it could be.

Steve seemed to think that, and so far, he hadn't lead Bucky astray.

"Okay," Bucky breathed and Steve's eyes widened for a moment, but then he was smiling and Bucky was putting his hand in Steve's and they were slowly walking in the same direction that Sam and Sharon had just gone. The music that was being played by the live band was a slower song, and there were a few couples on the dance floor, which Bucky was grateful for, because he didn't want it just to be them.

"You alright?" Steve said softly as they reached the edge of the dance floor and Bucky could feel eyes of people on them. Part of him wished that he had read more into this  _Captain America_  to see what kind of person the public was used to seeing on Steve's arm, but he knew that he had made the right decision in waiting for Steve be the one to tell him rather than reading it in the tabloids. He knew first hand how much things could get twisted online and in magazines.

"Yeah," Bucky said and then turned to Steve and sucked the corner of his lower lip into his mouth. Steve's eyes dipped down to his mouth, but then they flicked back up and met Bucky's eyes and his arm went around Bucky's waist and the fingers of his other pressed between Bucky's and he brought their bodies gently together. There was a guitar and piano being played beautifully, and the man singing had a beautiful voice, low and soft.

" _You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better. Ease my troubles, that's what you do_."

"I know this song," Bucky murmured quietly, his mouth pressed against Steve's shoulder. Steve's hand lifted from where it was around Bucky's waist, more toward the middle of his back, pressing in firmly, holding him against his body. Bucky kept his eyes trained on Steve's suit, the subtle pinstripes, and the curve of Steve's neck, and the jawline that he could now properly see without the beard. "Why'd you shave your beard?" He asked quietly.

"A beard isn't much of a disguise," Steve replied, and he turned his head so that his lips brushed against the curve of Bucky's ear. "But if I go out in public with the beard and a cap, it seems to work. So I don't exactly want people to know what to look for by showing it off at events like this." Bucky understood, and he nodded. "You prefer me without it?" Steve asked.

"No, I prefer you with it," Bucky answered quietly. "I like beard burn." There was a chuckle from Steve that Bucky felt rather than heard, from the way Steve's chest shook against his.

" _There's a love less defined. And its yours and its mine. Like the sun..._ "

Tony and Pepper were dancing nearby, and for once, Tony didn't look as though he was on the cusp of shooting off a smart ass remark, even when he met Bucky's eyes from over Steve's shoulder. His lips just lifted in a small smile before he rested his forehead back against the side of Pepper's. Bucky rested against Steve, letting the blonde man lead the way, and even though they were in public, and there a good few hundred people around them and undoubtedly several of them were watching them, he felt good.

Steve was warm and solid and Bucky exhaled deeply.

" _Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you_?"

"I know that you don't want this to be more public, and I also don't want to put on a show for anyone watching us," Steve said softly against Bucky's ear. "But just so you know, I really wish I was kissing you right now." Bucky's heart beat a little faster in his chest and he dipped his head in a nod.

The music swelled, the singing stopping as the piano took over, and it made Bucky's fingers turn inwards, the hand grasped by Steve's hand, and the arm wrapped around Steve's back tightening, fingers gripping at his suit, probably wrinkling it a little. He tipped his head forward and turned it in so that it was actually laying on Steve's shoulder, and he wasn't a hundred percent certain, but it sounded as though Steve let out a hum of contentment.

They weren't even really dancing anymore, just swaying together, but Bucky was okay with that. The singing started again, and Bucky was pretty sure that this song was now going to be his favourite of all time.

" _And at the end of the day. We should give thanks and pray. To the one, to the one..._ "

"I need to tell you, Buck," Steve's voice was quite and soothing. "There's probably going to be pictures of this online before we even leave here today." Bucky sighed, thinking he should probably lift his head and look at Steve, and stop giving the people with cameras something to photograph, but he didn't. "It's not all the trashy magazines and papers in here, but Stark always has some paparazzi in here."

"It's okay," Bucky murmured. "We knew that it was going to happen. Might as well get it over with. That's kind of what this was about, right?"

"If any of them come up to you and ask you any questions, or make you feel uncomfortable, though—" Steve's voice suddenly sounded harder, and his arms tightened around Bucky, and Bucky recognized it was an over-protective edge. "We can get Happy to throw them out right away." Bucky finally lifted his head and he touched a finger to Steve's chin.

"I'll be fine," Bucky told him. "Most of them are scared shitless of me, and anyway, you're with me, right?"

"Right," Steve's eyes dropped to his mouth, staying there for a long moment before lifting back up. Bucky knew that he was thinking about kissing him again.

" _Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness. Ease my troubles, that's what you do_."

"Besides," Bucky rolled his eyes. "How bored will they be when they find out that we met in the same way that so many other people do? In a bar?" It was meant to be off-handed, not exactly  _funny_ , but Steve's whole body tensed up and his eyes widened and his mouth dropped and suddenly Bucky felt as though he had done something— _said_  something—completely wrong and it felt like the wind was knocked out of his chest.

Steve had never looked at him like this before, he had no idea what to say.

" _Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness. Ease my troubles, that's what you do_."

The song finished, and Steve's hands fell away from Bucky and he put a step between them, making Bucky feel even more confused, and he was just about to ask what had happened when Maria was suddenly walking toward them, Peggy and Fury just behind her.

"Rogers," Maria's voice was clipped and Steve dragged his eyes away from Bucky to look at her. "We have a solid lead. We need to go now, while the intel is still good." Steve looked back at Bucky, his lips parting and then pressing together a couple of times, as though he was struggling to find words to say, but then Fury let out a huff.

"Barnes will still be here when you get back, but  _they_  might not be!" He said pointedly. "Hurry your ass up, Cap!" And then Fury was stalking off and Maria was close behind him and Peggy was looking at Steve expectantly, her face no longer calm and her glass of wine now gone.

"I have to go," Steve said, letting out a heavy breath as he looked back at Bucky and Bucky just blinked at him. "I'll...We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

"I..." Bucky was confused, and the warmth inside him was completely gone now, and rather than feeling grounded and soothed like he had before, he now felt completely exposed standing in the middle of all of these people he didn't know. Steve scratched the back of his neck and then he was looking around, and a moment later, Clint and Wanda were coming over, standing on either of Bucky's side, and he didn't feel  _good_ , but he felt better knowing that even though Steve was going, he had people there that he trusted. "Okay."

"Okay," Steve let out a short, heavy breath, and he flexed his hand at his side, eyes going to Bucky's mouth once more before he nodded and then he was leaning forward and touching Bucky's hand, giving it a squeeze before backing away.

He looked back twice before Peggy managed to herd him into the elevators, leaving Bucky completely confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The version of the song Have I Told You Lately that I was inspired by in this was the version by Matt Acheson. It's gorgeous.  
> How did you guys enjoy it? Yes? Let me know, I thrive off your beautiful comments xx

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty damned stoned and watching Zootopia with my husband, and I hope your day is going just as well!  
> Hit me up on my socials, I'm in an especially good mood to chat. Haha.  
> Tumblr: SereneCalamity  
> Twitter: CalamitySerene


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